Success! Success! Success! It is one of those major elements that keep us on our toes. So what is success? Well, when it's loosely translated it can mean, doing well in life, which in turn, for some, means getting the highest possible mark, participating in competitions, acquiring higher education from a reputed university, landing a high-paying job, having a supportive family and the list goes on and on. Even though in this so-called, "Live by my rules'' world, our ambitions are in one way or the other based on the standards set by our society. It mostly starts off with our parents wanting us to become something that they used to aspire to and wanting us to get paid fortunes. But, I don't want that. I would rather become a manager and get paid in lakhs and settle down!
Ever wondered why society's standards have an effect on us? Even for people who prefer a minimalistic life and their parents are being supportive of it, it’s the burst of enthusiasm a person is surrounded with when someone among their acquaintances has achieved something that falls under society’s standard of success. For instance, everyone points to that one cousin of ours who gets a new car--------- it becomes a hot topic. All of this is in no way meant to be discouraging to a minimalistic lover. But it just lacks the celebration, the enthusiasm, that must equally be given by society.
No one would be a better company for you than yourself. But things tend to get out of hand when you consider yourself not enough. The question repeats itself: Are you enough? This can keep people pumped up for days. Everything becomes a neurotic challenge or a to-do list for “success”. Oh, the online course sure I will do it, oh wait! The competitive exam– well I guess I will give it a shot too, the virtual internship yeah sign me up.
“You attract what you think”. Living in a constant state of mind where you often play the loser, being someone who doesn’t perform enough among the people, someone who isn't as highly successful and is not motivated to get closer to their goal— All of this, will not just make you feel bad and discouraged but will also result in anxiety issues, which in turn leads to serious poor mental wellness and so on.
Ever questioned how comparing ourselves to someone, whose lives are completely different from ours, can possibly be beneficial? Surprisingly people believe these comparisons might actually encourage us and make us do better and will result in us taking up more responsibilities which is basically a bundle of misunderstandings in a nutshell. Comparing yourself with others' achievements often leads to dissatisfaction because of the difference in lifestyle, perspective, IQ, EQ, personality traits etc. Everything is just different from a person, to the one they are being compared with.
Many tend to pick the best quality from their peers and try to mimic it which is a clear sign of self-sabotaging. Even though one may achieve in that field, it can result in an imposter syndrome, which again could lead to low self-esteem and shallow feelings.
Every one of us wants to be the best. And asking the right questions will help. Instead of asking, "Am I enough?" ask yourself, "Will it make me happy?" Once we shift our perspectives from blindly following successful people, we finally can start building our own routines, that make us more efficient. This will indeed help one to make choices in life, that make one happy, rather than following the standards set by our society. At the end of the day, our ultimate goal must be to lead a life, with which we can make peace, rather than carbon copying successful people’s routines and yearning for success.
Focusing on becoming the best version of yourself is the viable way to lead a happy and successful life. Rather than dwelling on self-help books, one should read them to understand how unique things worked out for the narrators and make sure to observe different perspectives you get from the author. Deep down we know what suits us better than anyone else. So just trust the gut feeling that comes from within and move forward with all the confidence you have got.
Written by Laksha KK
Edited by Zaina Pasha