When we say the word consent, the thing that comes to your mind first is the consent given before engaging in sexual activity. But most of us don't realize that consent is more than that. Hence it becomes an important topic to discuss.
Consent means granting permission for something or mutual agreement to do something. It involves respect and communication. It is an important concept which all of us should know right from a very young age. It leads to better relationships with family, friends, peers, and eventually romantic partners. Consent is also about creating and respecting boundaries. It should be willingly given and not through force or coercion.
Consent is a part of our daily lives. For instance, let's consider the relationship between a doctor and a patient. The doctor evaluates their patient and then puts forward their options for treatment. The patient gets to choose the treatment method from the options given by the doctor. In this scenario, the patient gets to make the decision. It is known as informed consent and is a necessary procedure in every hospital. It is a straightforward example of consent.
Let's take another instance, the relationship between an animal companion and their pet parents. Many may ask, "How can an animal give consent?" But as humans, perhaps one of the essential skills we need to seek consent, is to observe our animal companions without forcing our interpretations on them, to see them as they are rather than as we wish they would be. Animals are constantly communicating. They're expressing themselves as they explore the world, and they share with us through subtle non-verbal cues. Maybe, the main problem is that we don't pay thoughtful attention to these cues. It's one of the main aspects to work on to improve our relationship with our animal companions.
When it comes to kids, we need to highlight the importance of consent at a very young age. As kids grow, they go through many changes in their bodies and begin to explore them. It feels entirely new and confusing for them. During this process, they have many questions and are desperate for answers. A few may approach their parents, and a few may not. It's a fact that most of them rely on the internet to search for their answers. In some scenarios, it can be misleading to them. So, a parent must educate their child about the difference between a good touch and bad touch. They must highlight the importance of creating boundaries and maintaining them. They must instill the habit of respecting others' boundaries. Children should be taught to regard their private and other body parts alike, and they should be able to address their private parts with proper names just like the rest of their body. I am pretty sure most of us grew up hearing euphemisms like “chichi” or “pee-pee”. Funny as it might be, think about how that will shape their perspectives of their body.
A child should know what they can say and do to protect themselves, when they are in a situation, where they don't feel comfortable. They should be encouraged to speak up if something doesn't feel right. They should be made bold enough to demand their right to consent, for even simple gestures such as a hug. They should also know when to say 'no' and also to respect a 'no'. Teaching about consent is for their benefit. Even though it's still considered taboo, it's high time we changed our opinions on it. Without proper education, the child wouldn't know if someone is sexually harassing them or just being friendly. It teaches them about their bodies and so much more. It isn't a one-off conversation that you have to get exactly right. It's a conversation that continues and evolves as the child grows up and is very effective when explained using terms that the child can comprehend. It makes the child more conscious of their surroundings and the people in them. Lack of communication between the parent and the child can facilitate traumatic incidents such as child harassment. When this trauma is suppressed and accumulated over the years, it can significantly affect the child's future in many ways. Open and thoughtful communication with the child is required to avoid such incidents. Educating through such communication helps children to protect themselves from harassment and allows them to make wiser decisions in life.
When the child enters adulthood and has a romantic partner, consent plays an essential role in the relationship. The partner should remember that a NO is NO. Manipulation or force is not a way to get consent.
Let's try this. Let's ask an uneducated person about marital rape, and more than often, we hear a reply, "I am her husband, we are married, we love each other, and my wife is my property, so how is it rape?"
What's the difference between rape and marital rape? There is no difference. Sexual activity without consent and forcing himself on his partner is rape as well.
Consent goes both ways. Both female and male partners have the right to say 'no'. Even men are victims of rape because of force or manipulation.
Now let us contemplate a workplace environment with a power dynamic. How does one navigate consent in a relationship where power is tipping one end of the scale?
How to demand one's right to consent in a world that is obsessed with abusing its power?
In relationships, such as a relationship between a boss and an employee, an imbalance in scales can make it challenging to recognize if consent is given on one's own free will or even make consent impossible. It's because the person with less power may feel like they are not in a position to grant informed consent. If you are in a position of power, you should examine how your partner may feel pressured to engage with you and look for ways to eliminate this pressure. If you are in a marginalized position, you should make sure you feel safe and comfortable and have an equal say in this relationship.
As you can see, we understand that consent is an essential part of our daily lives. Consent is necessary even for a simple gesture such as a hug or a kiss because a few may feel comfortable and few may not. Consent is a subject that needs to be addressed by the family early on to prevent future traumatic events. When you voice your consent, make sure that you are loud and firm in whatever you say. Don't be afraid to do that for any reason whatsoever.
Hence consent matters. PERIOD.
Author - Majeeda
Editors - Aasia , Anjana